Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Dating as a single mom

There are some things about dating as a single mother that can be nerve wracking. You now have a scale that you use to measure... as a single non-mom the question are:
Is this person good enough for me?
What makes him good enough for me?
How can he improve/add to my life?
Do our values match up?
How does he make me feel?
Does he make me laugh/smile?

With a child there are no questions only requirements:
He must understand that my child comes first.
He must be ready to step into the role of parent. (He may not step into the role immediately, but the readiness is key)
He must be patient with my child.
He must be a good role model.
He must learn to change a diaper.
He must be able to (eventually) love my child as his own.
He must make my child happy.
He must follow MY parenting rules until they become OUR parenting rules.
He must respect my boundaries until I make the decision to expand them.
He must be ok with scheduling our time around my child's schedule.
He must treat me and my daughter with respect.

My BF (Bill) meets all of these requirements. I feel lucky, but I also feel proud of myself. In the end it isn't really about luck. Our meeting might have involved some chance, but in the end I make the decision about who is in our lives. It is ok to be picky. You have control over who you chose to be in a relationship with. If you don't settle then you will find a man that not only meets your expectations, but goes above and beyond.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Love this! As I was reading through your list of requirements I found myself thinking "Yep, FF meets that one. And that one. And that one." He meets them all! :) You and I are both very lucky and fortunate to have found guys who are so amazing; not only to us, but to our LO's as well.