Friday, December 28, 2012

Get a Hobby!

I think it is very important for everyone to have a hobby. For those who are single/only parents... it is a must! Play a sport, do something artistic, take a class, play video games, run, cook... do something that makes you happy and makes you feel accomplished.

I play soccer with my siblings, but I also have an artistic outlet. I recently started painting with watercolors. I like to paint birds and taught myself by watching youtube video tutorials.

Here a a few samples:

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Thursday, December 27, 2012

I dreamed a dream..

I saw Les Miserable on Christmas. I felt so many memories temporarily resurface, it was powerful for me. When Ann Hathaway sang "I Dreamed a Dream" I cried and felt my heart tighten. I actually felt the sob catch in the back of my throat, the sobs that I once could not hold back. The feeling of loss and hopelessness that was once lost in myself. Now I was never actually on the street, but I know what it is to see my dream die.... I am thankful every day for my new dreams. I made it through, but I will never forget being in that state. The words below are ones I can identify with:

There was a time when men were kind

When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

The Third Christmas!

This is my third Christmas with Nugget, as an only parent and it was wonderful! She is now at the age where she understand (to an extent) who Santa is and Baby Jesus and why we give/get presents on this holiday. We spent time together reading books, watching Christmas movies, baking cookies and making Christmas crafts. I have to admit I gave in to peer pressure and bought us our very own Elf on a Shelf… Our elf is named Hattie, and while Nugget LOVED her I have to say our elf seemed to be a little less creative than other elves out there. I guess she will have to up her game next year!

Being a single or only parent does not mean there is something missing at Christmas (or whatever Holiday you may celebrate). There is more than enough love and light in our households to make children feel the magic. This is true for any holiday at any time of year. If you are at the beginning of your journey or just stuck in a rut I think it is important to make a list of activities that you can do together as a family, or even by yourself to bring back a little magic and happiness. Feeling like you are having a blue Christmas? Maybe you just need to make a popcorn chain or take a drive around the neighborhood and look at the lights.

I know this may not help now that Christmas is over, but keep it in mind for the next holiday or extend Christmas and enjoy the spirit a little bit longer! The New year is coming and I think I will start by making a post about how to make you small family feel whole… so stay tuned!

Friday, December 21, 2012

Letter to Nugget: Loving you

Dear Nugget,

I tell you every day, multiple times a day that I love you. I want it to to be heard often and sink deep into your soul where it will stay forever. You are my child, my daughter, my greatest creation. Right now at the age of two your memory is not too long, I want to make sure that should anything ever happen to me you always know how much I care about you, but more importantly I want you to feel it.

My biggest fear is losing you, but the second is not being there for you. I would NEVER willingly leave you. I would NEVER choose to be away from you. I want to be your cheerleader, I want to teach you to be your own champion and I want to enjoy you and your amazing light for as long as I possibly can, but sometimes God has other plans.

Don't worry I am not sick! There is currently no reason why we should not be together for around 70ish more years! The women in our family tend to hold up nicely ;) You had 3 great great Grandmothers that lived into their late 90's (one was even 100!!). I just hate to think should there ever be an reason for my early departure, you may not remember all of the times I hugged you, kissed you, snuggle you, comforted you and laughed with you.

So here is my own words I am telling you that you are amazing! You have so much spark and I have no doubt you will have a wonderful and full life. I love you. I always will, even if I do not agree with you. This letter will also be a good reminder fo both of us when you hit your teens and we battle it out on a daily basis. I still love you.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Things could be worse

After the events that took place in CT on Friday I am reminded that things in my life could always be worse.

When I see sick children in the hospital...

A house foreclosed on...

A child starving...

A mother abused...

It can always be worse.

The images of those beautiful babies who will not be able to brighten the world with their smiles hurts my heart and soul. I have been praying for them and their families and will continue to do so. I have been through a rough patch, but I have my baby and I will cherish every moment we have together.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Up for grabs!

Often my social life comes up in conversation. I am a single woman in her late 20’s of course so I know people are going to ask if I am seeing someone in a casual conversation. I am not. I am not dating, I have not been asked out on date in over a year. I do not know if I will ever feel ready to date, but maybe I need to start opening up a little. I don’t believe I NEED to date or force myself back into the game because I am perfectly happy being single, but I need to stopped being so closed off.
In truth I know a man that dates me is lucky for so many reasons… some of which I will list:

1. I am funny. No, seriously I am hilarious.

2. I am pretty. Sounds a little narcissistic, but it is true. I will be even better looking in a few months when I make my weight loss goal.

3. You will never have to wonder how I will look after having children. What you see is what you get! A couple pounds up, but still in great condition ;)

4. I make cute babies. Unless you are really freakish looking there is a good chance your future child with me will be adorable, and even if you are freakish I may have enough genetic gusto to combat the uggos.

5. I am loyal. I am too smart, caring and honestly too tired to whore it up around town.

6. I can cook. I am not Paula Dean or Giada, but I can get the job done and my brother gives my meals the guy seal of approval.

7. Ever wonder what your fun and fancy free woman will be like when she has a family, is settled down, lacking sleep and stressed? Again what you see is what you get. The good news here is I will actually be less stressed when I get married and get a little help with my everyday duties. I know how hard it is to do it on your own and I will truly appreciate a partners help. I can almost guarantee I will be less likely to go off on you and sweat the small stuff. I love my fellow females out there, but I hear all of my friends complaining about stuff that really doesn’t matter.

8. Despite going through hell I am surprisingly not carrying a lot of baggage. I learned a lot and worked through it. I am not perfect, but I have a good head on shoulders.

9. I am smart.

10. Fun. I am a fun lady and I can find fun in almost any activity.

11. In an effort to keep this PG rated I will just say I am a good kisser… plus more ;)

12. I am a great mom and I have had the opportunity to practice my sweet mommy skills.

13. Some man out there gets the amazing opportunity to be a dad to an amazing little girl. Having bragging rights to me is awesome, being able to say you are Nugget’s Dad is the most coveted position title up for grabs in the world today.

What more do you need to know!