Normal, Not Normal

Normal: I get up and shower
Not Normal: I cry through the whole shower

Normal: I brush my teeth
Not Normal: I don't do it till noon because I forgot to do it earlier

Normal: I eat
Not Normal: Though my stomach growls I feel nauseous everytime I bring a bite to my lips.

Normal: I dream about my husband and I being happy together.
Not Normal: These dreams make me feel physically ill and disgusted.

Normal: I feel happiness and excitement when I think about my baby.
Not Normal: I also feel a deep saddness that the day she is born will not be what I always thought it would be.

Nothing is really normal anymore and that is a scary thing to realize. On a good note, I laughed today. I forgot about everything long enough to enjoy a joke.

I know things will get easier but, I accept that there is a very tough and bumpy road ahead.