Friday, July 23, 2010

The Nugget is here!

Sunday night (7/18/10) I woke up to some mild contractions. They were about 10 mins apart but they stopped after about an hour... So I thought Monday would be the day that real labor started so I called off work.
I devoted the day to taking short walks and finishing everything around the house. I had a dinner with a friend from out of town that night and my mom went with me and i used an iphone app to time the mild contractions I was still having. At this point they were pretty painless but 6 mins apart. Suddenly in the middle of dinner they stopped Sad. I only had a few more before 9 and I gave up and went to bed at 9:45pm.
At 10:51 exactly I woke up to my first true contraction. I started to time them. 5 mins apart and too painful to speak through! After an hour we went to L&D. I got there around 12:30am and after being checked I was 5cm!! We were really doing this! My mom and I called my Dad, sister and my MIL.
I labored naturally using the Bradley method. Things were going really well too. It was painful of course and I did have cranky moment but for the most part it was a very calm environment. That is until my check around 4am...
The nurse all of a sudden gets a weird look on her face and announces that I am 6cm but she thinks she just felt "female parts". Bring in the resident who then does her own internal (she was not gentle) and says she thinks LO may just be face up (great!). Now comes the u/s and what do you know... Her head is up by my ribs! How did my doc miss this? Or did she flipped within a 3 day period? Oh well it's C-section time!
Within 45mins I was prepped and on the table ready for surgery with my mom by my side. It went super smoothly! The team working on me were all great and my mom got a lot of good pics of the procedure too. Nugget was born at 5:03am, weighed 7lbs 3ozs and was 20.5in long.
I am so glad to have my baby in my arms, happy and healthy and so beautiful :)

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

2cm Dilated

I am 2cm dilated! 60% effaced and station 1! Yikes it could be any time now!

With all of the drama in my life I just want a new focus. I am so excited to have this little girl in my arms.

I have told STBXH that he is not permitted to attend the birth or come down after. Giving birth is going to be so emotionally and physically taxing the last thing I need is to be reminded of everything he did to me and our family.

I am as ready as possible for this baby. I have washed the clothing, set up the crib, I have diapers, wipes and both of our bags are packed :)

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

"So you are giving up?"

I talked to STBXH (Soon to be ex-husband) yesterday and everytime I do it is extremely hard.

I told him that I didn't want to talk to him much if at all, that I didn't want him at the birth and that I was unsure that he would even be involved with his daughter when she arrives. He sounded so heartbroken and I know he is, but he made the bad choices that lead me to these decisions. He asked me about our marriage and I told him I did not trust him and would never trust him in a relationship ever again. His response was:

"So you are giving up?"

Really? I am giving up!?! You cheated on me and got arrested trying to meet up with a teenager! You gave up on this marriage before it had a chance to start. You are now facing federal charges that could land you in jail for at least 5 years and would have you labeled as a sex offender (a pedophile no less).

How dare he try to make me feel guilty.