This is my attempt to move on after a dramatic and life changing event. It is a blog of emotional survival.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Letter From Prison: He won't go away
I got a letter from prison yesterday.
The short version is "I know you have never answered any of my past letters, but I am hoping this will change. I am not asking much Becca, I just want to know about Nugget's well being and a little about her life."
Readers, I will de-code this for all of you:
"Becca, it really bothers me that you have chosen to ignore my communication. My loss of control over you makes me feel angry and the lack of validation scares me. Maybe if I ask about Nugget over and over you will relent and at least send me a short reply. Maybe if I only ask for basic info on her general well being I can possibly get my foot in the door? I am hoping you are too stupid to realize that my parents visit me once or twice a month and share that information with me already. I want you to feel sorry for ME so I can see that YOU care. If you show me you care, even a tiny bit, I may be able manipulate you. If I can have a family to come back to when I get out of prison then other people will see me as normal and I can reestablish myself in a community... because I AM totally normal..."
You have to be able to ready between the lines. He already gets basic info from his parents, he doesn't need it from me. He has never admitted to be a sicko, even though he admitted to downloading pics of children, he said it was a mistake... one he made about 600 times.. When he had supervised visits (before he was convicted) he spent the whole time talking to ME and trying to get me to speak on his behalf to the courts. He didn't give to shits about Nugget.
I am a very positive person, but some days I get angry just like anyone else. I am currently getting ready to write a few letters to send out to Senators, Congressmen and State Rep in hopes that I may be able to get the ball rolling on sever the rights of those in OH convicted of crimes against children.