Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Flashes of Sad

Even in the depths of extreme happiness there can be flashes of sadness. Planning a wedding and a life together are fun and exciting, but then there are small practical things that get you. My name. Nugget's name. I want to have my husband's name, but I want my child to share my name as well. I was explaining the process of getting married to Nugget and that a lot of women (and some men) change their last name. I told her I will most like have two last names (hyphenate). She expressed the desire to take my Fiance's last name too. She wants to be an Anderson-Smith*, and she kept saying her name out loud with both last names each time for over 5 mins.

It really hurts my heart that the laws in OH make it very hard for me to let my child share the last name of the family she wants to be recognized as. She will always be told that no matter what her last name is she is loved more than anything by her mom and her Dad. Yes, her Dad. The man that has known her since birth, supported and loved her her since age 3. Nugget tells me all the time that when I am married she will call my Fiance "Dad" and that she wants to and is excited to have "the best dad ever!". The happiness I feel cannot be described. They are wonderful together.

After I am married I will ask my X to give up his parental rights. He will most likely say no, which is his right in our state, but I will push. Nugget deserves it.

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