Monday, April 11, 2011

20 pages of almost nothing

I received the letter from my X. The first ten pages were an attempt at an explanation and a plea for me not to choose divorce....

There are only so many I'm sorry's a person can hear from another. They become devoid of meaning when it seems that no/little responsibility is taken. Excuses should not go with apologies. I don't care the reasons behind you betraying me and hurting so many people, the fact is you seriously f*cked up. PERIOD. If you want to explain things fine, get it off your chest, but it should not come across as an excuse or justification. In this situation they don't exist.

His explanation for the child porn??: He said he was using legal porn as an escape and spent 2-3 hours a day downloading legal videos on legit porn sites.. (this is true they have the records) and when he ran out of money on his CC he moved to peer-shared files. He said that he would download a users entire library and go through an delete anything illegal... He didn't mean to have anything involving children downloaded... This is BS because his search history is in the records so I know he searched for certain illegal materials

No explanation was given for putting an ad on Craig’s list looking to hook up with someone or why he engaged in sexual conversations with a female he believed to be 15… No mention of being asked to resign from a school he once worked at b/c of inappropriate behavior (Of course I never knew about this! It happened way before we were together and of course it was never in any records because they just asked him to resign. My BIL told me after everything happened)

Here is a surprise... I was actually happy reading it... Why, you may ask? Well, because I felt nothing. I didn't cry, get stressed or get upset. I was over it! I know I still have a little ways to go till I am truly over it (if you ever really get over something like this) but it was a big step!

He did go over his day to day activities and it sounds like he is at summer camp! Playing ping pong, reading, cake at every meal... meanwhile I never have time to myself... yeah that part made me feel a little bitter...

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