Visit

We had a supervised visit yesterday. It was fine just uncomfortable.

With Christmas being this week his sister has come in from Spain and while I know they all know what he has done to me, my daughter and the whole family, they seem to just push that aside. I don't want to cause drama, but give me a break. He gave me a onsie that says "Made with love by mommy and daddy" I will be donating it.

After the visit he gave me a note he had written. I read it and it said everything he has already told me. He focuses on saying he never cheated on me, he loves me and he was depressed and he didn't want me to give up on "us"... blah blah blah. I put the letter in a drawer. Depression is not an excuse.

"Us" was gone a long time ago. I have retired our title of "we".

"We" will no longer be making decisions together.
"We" are not sending out Christmas cards.
"We" are not raising our daughter
"We" are not celebrating birthdays or anniversaries
"We" are not going struggling to stay on top of bills

I am doing all of those things, me.

I am not giving up. I am pushing through. Just me, no "us" no "we".