This is my attempt to move on after a dramatic and life changing event. It is a blog of emotional survival.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Advice from Becca - 20 random tips
I can only offer advice. Take it or leave it. What works for me may not work for others.
With all of that out of the way here is some advice I have accumulated over the years. Some is serious, some is humorous... take it or leave it people! :)
Live by the RULE, not the EXCEPTION. - True story: I personally knew a man who survived a car crash only because he was not wearing a seat belt. I still wear my seat belt every single time I am in the car. This is my number one rule in life. A married man will most likely not leave his wife... if you smoke your health will most likely suffer... a pedophile will most likely NEVER be safe around children.
If you have a small child you may as well put a small chair in your bathroom because they will need somewhere to sit while you use the toilet. They are going to want o be in there, like it or not!
If your child is anything like Nugget here is some mealtime advice. Put anything you want your child to eat on YOUR plate first and pretend to give them your food. Make sure the child sees you "sharing". This does two things. 1) It is a good example of sharing. 2) It keeps your real food safe from the little vultures.
Single Parents are especially in danger of being deprived of adult interaction. Sign up for a community art class, sports team, mommy group.. anything that gives you the opportunity to talk to someone who can wipe their own butt.
Dating is not a good way to make friends. I hear a lot of single parents say they are lonely and crave some adult conversation so they join an online dating service... if you are lonely and feeling a little gloomy dating may not be the best idea. You are more likely to get into a bad or pointless relationship.
When making pasta take some advice from Coco Chanel... take out the amount of noodles you THINK you need and then take some away.
Tell the people you love how you feel. Even if they can't say it back... there can never be too much love inthe world.
Never try change who you really are for a man/woman. A person can inspire change, but they should never demand it and you should never force it.
Take a vacation, every single year! Go far away, stay home, two weeks or a long weekend... doesn't really matter! Just take the time to relax and do something fun.
There is no shame in asking for help.
Keep an old pair of jeans, pair of shorts, a tshirt, old sneakers and a sweatshirt in your car. For you and your little one. Can't tell you how many times I have used these emergency items.
Wash your car. Sounds simple, but it is good for your car and it is one chore a child LOVES to be involved in. Whether you go to a car wash or do it youself they love it.
Let your child see you having fun. I remember watching my parents play softball, going to movies with them and watching them play games with family and friends. It is important that a child sees you having a good time. The more memories they have of you smiling and laughing, the better. You don't want them to only remember you sitting on the sidelines, or stressing over money.
On the same note... make sure your child sees you being a good sport. Don't be a sore loser. Nugget comes to my soccer games, and she will not see me cursing at people or getting into petty arguments. She will see me supporting my team and trying my hardest.
Get certified in Basic Life Saving.
Don't make your child your whole life. Hear me out! My child is my life in many ways, she is my heart, my truest love and the person I put above all others... a parent can't change how they feel, that is set in stone... BUT I do have my own activities. I say no to her. I do not put all of my hopes and dreams on her shoulders. I want the best for her, but I want to prepare her to be her best on her own. This means I owe it to her to be my best. I have to do that on my own. Make sense? Well. at least I know what I am trying to say! Lead your child by example.
Have a tool box. You would be surprised how many houses do not have proper, basic tools.
Own at least a few pairs of cute underwear/panties/bras. It is easy to fall into the "Hanes habit". Hanes are great, I am not a hater ,but there is just something about wearing sexy under things... It helps give you an extra boost of confidence.
Along the same lines: Have at least 3 go to outfits: One cool weather casual, one warm weather casual and then a date night/girls night outfit. Be prepared to look good without having to panic.
Love is the most beautiful thing in the world. Don't rush it. Don't force it. Don't shut it out. Don't let it blind you. It is easy to get swept away, but you will be much happier and safer if you stear your vessel with a clear head.