Last year between November and January there was SOOO much going on. So much stress and so much weight on my shoulders. There was he court date to enter his plea, the supervised visits, the sentencing, the phone calls and the holidays were thrown in the middle of all of this.
I talked to my X more than I should have back then. A few time a week to makes sure the visit space and supervisors were available. This should have been strictly business, and if he was allowed to email I would have done it that way, but alas he was banned from the Internet and he managed to always turn the discussions into an emotional mess. I wish I had the strength then that I do now. I wish I would have known how freeing it is to not have to speak to him. To be able to hang up the phone. To ignore his bull-ish and guilt trips. Realizing that another person has no power over you is liberating.
Single Parents out there, know this. If your X is a decent human being and you can put your big kid pants on, then always be kind to your child's co-parent. Cherish the fact that you have another person out there who will love and protect your child, even if that means you have to share. If you are in a situation more like mine, where the other parent is manipulative, dangerous and/or vindictive, then be strong enough to hang up. Be strong enough to not take the crap. Be strong enough to fight for your kids and yourself.
I know it is a contradiction, but my fight has brought me peace. This holiday is the much more peaceful than last year. There are many more smiles. My little family is perfect.