Do I live with my parents? Yes. Are they helpful? Yes. BUT they are not a partner. People are always saying; "Oh, at least your parents are there so you are not alone... you can dump the baby on them and go out... you have a built in baby sitter... you have all that help... it's like having a partner" Actually, No, it's not like that.
Grandma and Grandpa stepped up when I had my c-section. They helped me 24/7 when I was physically compromised. They have had days where they took Baby Nugget to a local fair or festival without me. It is convenient to have them there when I need to run to the corner store to get milk or formula. My mom can pick up the baby from daycare if she gets off work early and can give me a short break if I feel overwhelmed. In other words my parents are helpful and I appreciate all they do.... BUT...
My parents usually will only go about one hour with the baby while she is awake. (Nugget can be a very fussy baby at times.) This gives me time to clean and do chores before I am tapped back into the game. They both work full time and have varying schedules so they are not always home. They do not wake up in the middle of the night to feed the baby. They do not buy her formula and other baby items (other than the occasional gifts). They go out without the baby all the time. They are not called home from work when Nugget is sick. I have to ask my parents for help and they can say no. I take care of the baby 95% of the time (other than when I am at work). They have a life and make plans without asking me all the time.
If I had a partner we could split the duties, even if I did all the baby stuff, he could do the dishes and the laundry. He could take one night shift with the baby when I needed sleep. It probably wouldn't be 50/50 but it would be easier on me.
Like I said I do appreciate my parents. They are not Nugget's mother, I am. They did not sign up for co-parenting duties. They are the grandparents. Some women have no help and I am thankful for every minute of support. They love her and Baby Nugget loves them too. This post was in no way complaining about them, not for a second. I just want people to know that just because I live with my mom and dad, it doesn't mean Nugget has 3 parents.