I feel a lot happier now that the hardest part is over. I am hoping it will continue.
I honestly do not have the strength or will to write more words. I just want to enjoy some peace.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Tomorrow
Please whatever higher power may exist,
Get me to Thursday. Let justice pull through. Give me strength. Help the attention blow over quickly. Keep my family out of the media.
Thank you,
B
Get me to Thursday. Let justice pull through. Give me strength. Help the attention blow over quickly. Keep my family out of the media.
Thank you,
B
Monday, January 10, 2011
2 days...
...until sentencing. Then I can take a break from all the maddness. Just be a single mom raising her daughter. I am ready for this.
Monday, January 3, 2011
I made it. 2011
It has been almost 6 months since everything happend. In nine days my STBXH will be in prison and I will be able to take an extended break from everything.
It is 2011. I fought through the hardest period of my life, I made it. 2010 had more tears than any other, required more strength and in the end gave me the most wonderful gifts I have ever received.
My Daughter was born, she is beautiful and healthy. Everyday I look at her and know why I had to go through everything I went through... because sometimes things as wonderful and amazing as her have to be earned. You may have to cross an ocean, fight through a jungle and travel across a desert to reach your treasures.
The other gift I got was strength. I realized that I have more of it than I ever thought. My advice for anyone going through a difficult time in their life is this: It is just a period of time and it will end. You must push back. A reason to smile doesn't always find you, you may have to go looking for it. It will make you stronger and it will be worth it.
I will leave you with my favorite speech given by Winston Churchill:
"Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, give in. Never give in. Never give in. Never give in."
It is 2011. I fought through the hardest period of my life, I made it. 2010 had more tears than any other, required more strength and in the end gave me the most wonderful gifts I have ever received.
My Daughter was born, she is beautiful and healthy. Everyday I look at her and know why I had to go through everything I went through... because sometimes things as wonderful and amazing as her have to be earned. You may have to cross an ocean, fight through a jungle and travel across a desert to reach your treasures.
The other gift I got was strength. I realized that I have more of it than I ever thought. My advice for anyone going through a difficult time in their life is this: It is just a period of time and it will end. You must push back. A reason to smile doesn't always find you, you may have to go looking for it. It will make you stronger and it will be worth it.
I will leave you with my favorite speech given by Winston Churchill:
"Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, give in. Never give in. Never give in. Never give in."
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Visit
We had a supervised visit yesterday. It was fine just uncomfortable.
With Christmas being this week his sister has come in from Spain and while I know they all know what he has done to me, my daughter and the whole family, they seem to just push that aside. I don't want to cause drama, but give me a break. He gave me a onsie that says "Made with love by mommy and daddy" I will be donating it.
After the visit he gave me a note he had written. I read it and it said everything he has already told me. He focuses on saying he never cheated on me, he loves me and he was depressed and he didn't want me to give up on "us"... blah blah blah. I put the letter in a drawer. Depression is not an excuse.
"Us" was gone a long time ago. I have retired our title of "we".
"We" will no longer be making decisions together.
"We" are not sending out Christmas cards.
"We" are not raising our daughter
"We" are not celebrating birthdays or anniversaries
"We" are not going struggling to stay on top of bills
I am doing all of those things, me.
I am not giving up. I am pushing through. Just me, no "us" no "we".
With Christmas being this week his sister has come in from Spain and while I know they all know what he has done to me, my daughter and the whole family, they seem to just push that aside. I don't want to cause drama, but give me a break. He gave me a onsie that says "Made with love by mommy and daddy" I will be donating it.
After the visit he gave me a note he had written. I read it and it said everything he has already told me. He focuses on saying he never cheated on me, he loves me and he was depressed and he didn't want me to give up on "us"... blah blah blah. I put the letter in a drawer. Depression is not an excuse.
"Us" was gone a long time ago. I have retired our title of "we".
"We" will no longer be making decisions together.
"We" are not sending out Christmas cards.
"We" are not raising our daughter
"We" are not celebrating birthdays or anniversaries
"We" are not going struggling to stay on top of bills
I am doing all of those things, me.
I am not giving up. I am pushing through. Just me, no "us" no "we".
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
After Jan 12
I will have time to breathe a bit more. X will be sentenced and I can take a time out to just focus on my life for a while. Being the best mom I can and working hard to give her the best start in life.
Yesterday I tried to picture my life without my child and it was impossible. I would never risk doing something to lose her and I still can't beleive he chose to do what he did.
His loss.
Yesterday I tried to picture my life without my child and it was impossible. I would never risk doing something to lose her and I still can't beleive he chose to do what he did.
His loss.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
