Thursday, April 25, 2013

Still not dating.

On some days I wish I could find my most recent ex-boyfriend, the only man I have dated since my divorce, and show him that I meant what I said the day I broke up with him. I really wasn’t ready. I REALLY just wanted to have time to be independent. There was nobody else and he did nothing wrong. I was just not the right girl for him and it was not the right time for me to be with anyone.

Almost a year and a half later he still comes to my mind, because I know I really hurt him. Being dumped with no real clear explanation only makes you analyze yourself and most likely it is not in a good way.

I am still not dating. I still have very little desire to do so. I do get hungry for affection, but it passes quickly. There is nothing wrong with this, and that is what I keep telling myself. Many of my single mom friends are getting married again or are in serious relationships… it makes me think about myself and where I am in regards to love/relationships/men… I still stand by my previous statements, that dating just sounds exhausting. So another day will pass and I will focus on my responsibilities and my wonderful child. I will wait. I am not waiting for a prince to save me, a sign to communicate to me or anything else magical. I am just waiting for myself, all of myself to be ready. Love, a forever kind of love, it is just too important to rush into before I am whole again.


Olivia {i am still learning} said...

Good for you. I think that's exactly what I would do... I hear of people splitting and dating the next minute and I just don't know how that works... how can your heart move so easily to the next person? And I don't think it can without lots of bumps and thoughts of missing another even if the circumstances were horrible... (abuse or whatever). Let yourself heal, let yourself breath... I think you're on the right direction (not that you need a strangers opinion, ha!).

Vodka Mommy said...

Absolutely agree! Sometimes I wish more young moms would take time out to get settled in themselves and their lives instead of jumping from guy to guy in a string of really sad choices. Good on you! Being alone is honestly one of the hardest aspects of life, but you taking it head on is beautiful and strong. All the love & support for you!

Melissa said...

hi there, i stumbled upon this blog last week, and I have to tell you I love it!
I have been happily single for almost 9 years! My kids are 10 and 13. It has truly taken me these last 9 years to get myself ready. Truly and wholly ready to allow someone into that part of my life. Maybe it wont take you 9 years like it did me...but I can tell you if theres a bad date to be had, ive had it. If there's a loser out there to date, I have dated him. I was always a disaster in the dating world, and it has taken me 9 years to realize why: Its because I wasnt ready!
Take your time, and enjoy yourself. Men will always be around to date. But the kids will only be little for a little while. I dont want to waste their little years trying to find a man!