It is funny how when we started dating and the whole time we were together I would get so excited to see his name on my caller ID, in my inbox and in my texts... Now my heart sinks whenever I see his name.
It is so hard to fully express the 180. I have been mad at him, but mostly I am just sad that he has made me feel this way.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Today is he day.
He reports to prison today and he sent me a letter (email)...
In it he said he will give up all of the possessions and not make me take Nugget to prison if I put in writing that I will never terminate his rights.
First of all, I am pretty sure I can't terminate his rights... I mean I could ask, but most likely it wouldn't happen. (I have already asked a few questions on the topic)
Second, I wouldn't put it in writing anyway. I may not be able to do it now, but if he gets caught again or gets into drugs or becomes violent... Basically I am not going to do it.
It was hard to read the email. I felt extremely sad. It is hard to think that the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with, the person you share so many happy memories with and the person you "once upon a time" were truly in love with is sick and scary person inside. I feel as though a lot of my happiest memories are tainted. I hate him for that.
In it he said he will give up all of the possessions and not make me take Nugget to prison if I put in writing that I will never terminate his rights.
First of all, I am pretty sure I can't terminate his rights... I mean I could ask, but most likely it wouldn't happen. (I have already asked a few questions on the topic)
Second, I wouldn't put it in writing anyway. I may not be able to do it now, but if he gets caught again or gets into drugs or becomes violent... Basically I am not going to do it.
It was hard to read the email. I felt extremely sad. It is hard to think that the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with, the person you share so many happy memories with and the person you "once upon a time" were truly in love with is sick and scary person inside. I feel as though a lot of my happiest memories are tainted. I hate him for that.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Been MIA
I needed a break. A break from this whole mess.
It has now been almost a month since his sentence was handed out and he should be called to serve it any day now. When I have saved up enough money, I will be obtaining a lawyer and this marraige will be officially over legally. Of course it was over for me on June 6th, 2010.
I have been moving forward. His family was down here for a visit and Nugget spent time with her grandparents and cousin. I do intend to keep the line of communication open with them. I just hope they understand that their son is not going to be involved.
I can't believe my daughter is 6 months old. She is sitting up and rolling around. She even has gotten close to crawling! I guess the one thing about being a single parent that I love is knowing those moments are mine and mine alone. I would love to share them of course, but knowing that I have been able to be everything to her helps me feel accomplished.
I love watching her grow.
It has now been almost a month since his sentence was handed out and he should be called to serve it any day now. When I have saved up enough money, I will be obtaining a lawyer and this marraige will be officially over legally. Of course it was over for me on June 6th, 2010.
I have been moving forward. His family was down here for a visit and Nugget spent time with her grandparents and cousin. I do intend to keep the line of communication open with them. I just hope they understand that their son is not going to be involved.
I can't believe my daughter is 6 months old. She is sitting up and rolling around. She even has gotten close to crawling! I guess the one thing about being a single parent that I love is knowing those moments are mine and mine alone. I would love to share them of course, but knowing that I have been able to be everything to her helps me feel accomplished.
I love watching her grow.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Happier
I feel a lot happier now that the hardest part is over. I am hoping it will continue.
I honestly do not have the strength or will to write more words. I just want to enjoy some peace.
I honestly do not have the strength or will to write more words. I just want to enjoy some peace.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Tomorrow
Please whatever higher power may exist,
Get me to Thursday. Let justice pull through. Give me strength. Help the attention blow over quickly. Keep my family out of the media.
Thank you,
B
Get me to Thursday. Let justice pull through. Give me strength. Help the attention blow over quickly. Keep my family out of the media.
Thank you,
B
Monday, January 10, 2011
2 days...
...until sentencing. Then I can take a break from all the maddness. Just be a single mom raising her daughter. I am ready for this.
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