I will never understand

I will never understand why he did what he did

I will never understand how I could misjudge a person so greatly

I will never understand how anyone could hurt me so badly

I will never understand how anyone would put my baby in this position

I will never understand this week, these past 2 years and why this happend to me.

A new life: Now a Blog of Emotional Survival

I was blindsided with devestaing new on Tuesday and will now be raising my daughter as a single parent. I can't bring myself to relive through writing why this decision was made, just know that the man in my life made some horrible choices and I am not going to let them be associated with my daughter.

Not everything I write will make sense, nothing seems to make sense to me right now. Life right now is about keeping myself healthy for my baby and surviving this hard time.

Baby Shower

I had a wonderful baby shower on Sunday and I couldn't be happier! My Aunt and my cousin did an amazing job. All the food was great and the games were perfect, not too over the top. Everybody had a great time and all of my family came out for the occasion. My 3 aunts came from PA, RC's family came down from Toledo and my Great Grandma (99 years old!) made it!

I wish I had pictures but I didn't have a camera... My mom and dad bought us a new one though! We got all of the big items: Crib, Pack-N-Play, The Travel System, bouncer and tons of clothes. My little girl is going to be way more stylish than I am! My Great Grandmother made her a beautiful blanket which is amazing!

We are excited to get everything organized, washed and set up. There are still some small items to get but nothing we can't handle. My coworkers are also giving me a small shower next week so that should be fun too. I will post some pics as soon as I get my hands on some :)

Week 31 update

How far along? 31 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: I am no longer answering this question...

How Big is Baby? About 4lbs

Stretch marks? Found one under my belly

Sleep: I wish I could do it all the time...

Movement: All day!

Food cravings: Ice cream

Food aversions: Not really.

Symptoms: Fatigue, shortness of breath when I walk up stairs, leg cramps

Belly Button in or out?: Still in.

What I am looking forward to: My shower on Sunday!

Weekly Wisdom: Take it easy

Weekly Joy: Got a free DQ blizzard at work today!

How far along? 30 weeks (7 months)

Total weight gain/loss: I am no longer answering this question...

How Big is Baby? About 3lbs

Stretch marks? Belly is still stretch mark free.

Sleep: Getting harder

Movement: Sheis a strong little booger

Food cravings: Ice cream, Chinese!

Food aversions: not a whole lot out of the norm.

Symptoms: Fatigue, shortness of breath when I walk up stairs, leg cramps

Belly Button in or out? Still in, it may make it till the end!

What I am looking forward to: My pics and my shower coming up soon!

Weekly Wisdom: Drink water, and then drink more water.

Weekly Joy: RC finally saw/felt a major movement. He has felt her before but this time he saw my whole belly shift and it was pretty cool.

Late 28 week check in!

How far along? 28 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: I have gained 25 pounds

How Big is Baby? She is just under 3 lbs

Stretch marks? Belly is still stretch mark free.

Sleep: It is ok. Not great, but ok.

Movement: She is squirming away

Food cravings: Ice cream, pasta

Food aversions: Most soups

Symptoms: Fatigue, shortness of breath when I walk up stairs, leg cramps

Belly Button in or out? Still in!

What I am looking forward to: My pics next week!

Weekly Wisdom: Drink water, and then drink more water.

Weekly Joy: SIL had her baby girl! She is so cute and chill!

I am an Aunt! Rosalie is here!

Congratulations to my SIL (Sister in Law) MC who gave birth to a beautiful baby girl yesterday. Mommy and baby are both doing wonderfully! The baby is precious and SIL did a wonderful job. The nurses were all saying what a trooper she was and I hope I can do the same in a few months. This baby thing gets a little more real everyday but yesterday seeing the little one laying on MC's chest was like a reality slap across the face! RC and I are in hypermode now.

Must finish nursery! Must start buying diapers! Must do everything!